May is Mental Health Awareness Month! We’re kicking it off by talking about something every youth development pro knows a little too well: behavior.😅 We’re also thrilled to introduce both a brand new resource PLUS a brand new voice on the ClubX Blog- Director of Trauma-Informed Practice Casey Morris Wadsack!
We’ve all been there.
We’re in the Club, trying to move a group from one room to the next—and suddenly we’ve got a handful of runners. Before we know it, we’re loudly commanding the group to “walk.”
Yup. Been there.
Or we’re in a room that’s loud and boisterous. As the adult, we’re ready to wrap up the activity and move on. We find ourselves yelling, “Be quiet!” It works for the moment of surprise… and then the volume creeps right back up.
YUP. Been there.
Or someone is having a tough day—a very bad, no-good day—and we’re watching it all unfold. Frustration builds, emotions spill over, and then… an eruption.
Oh yeah. Been there.
Behaviors happen—every. single. day. And as youth development professionals, responding to them is part of the work. We can’t avoid it. The good news is that we can be intentional and proactive behavior supports from the very start of the day—setting clear expectations, building relationships, and creating consistent routines that support positive behavior. When challenges do arise, how we respond matters. Thoughtful, trauma-informed, skill‑building responses don’t just address the moment; they strengthen safety, trust, and belonging, helping to create the high‑quality Club environment where young people can learn, grow, and thrive.
Guiding Principles of Behavior Support
To start, let’s get familiar with the Guiding Principles of Behavior Support from the Behavior Support Toolkit:
Challenging or concerning behaviors are likely to occur when a youth or teen feels a threat to their own safety or needs. These feelings and reactions—as much as they may be a challenge in the moment—are normal, as youth and teens are all developing essential skills. As the adult leaders in these spaces, it is critical for us to understand that what we sometimes label as ‘challenging behavior’ is often a young person’s best attempt to communicate a need. This understanding invites a shift—from reacting to behavior to proactively supporting it. Proactive behavior supports help us create environments that reduce stress, increase connection, and set youth and teens up for success before challenges arise.
Proactive Behavior Supports
When we invest in proactive behavior supports, we create environments that help youth and teens feel safe, connected and successful from the start. These supports don’t eliminate all challenging behaviors—but they do reduce how often they show up and how intense they become. More importantly, they communicate to young people: You belong here, and we’re ready to support you.
Some of the foundational proactive practices highlighted in the Behavior Support Toolkit include:
- Connection!: Strong relationships are the foundation of all effective behavior support. When young people feel known, valued and connected to caring adults, they are more likely to engage positively, follow expectations and seek support when things feel hard.
Connection doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s built in everyday moments. Warm welcomes at the door, consistent emotional check-ins, shared laughter and intentional conversations all help build trust and belonging. These small, repeated interactions send a powerful message: I see you. You matter here.
- Structures & Routines: Predictability helps all of us regulate. Clear schedules, consistent routines and smooth transitions reduce uncertainty and anxiety—especially during high-energy or high-stress moments like arrival, transitions or the end of the day.
Structure isn’t about control; it’s about clarity. When youth know what to expect and what’s expected of them, they can focus their energy on participating, learning and connecting. Visual schedules, reminders before transitions and consistent adult follow-through all help reinforce this sense of safety.
- Expectations & Communication: Expectations work best when they are clear, reasonable and communicated in ways youth can understand and access. Rather than relying on broad directions like “be respectful,” proactive behavior support focuses on teaching what expectations look and sound like in specific spaces and activities.
Co-creating group agreements with youth and teens builds shared ownership and accountability, shifting expectations from adult-imposed rules to collective values. Just as important is how expectations are communicated—through calm tone, positive language, modeling and visuals.
When communication is clear and consistent, youth are less likely to feel confused, frustrated or set up to fail—and more likely to meet expectations successfully.
- Inclusive Practices: Proactive behavior support assumes that youth have different strengths, needs and ways of engaging—and that our environments may need some modifications to support them. Offering choices, providing regulation tools, communicating in multiple ways and designing flexible activities allow youth to participate in ways that meet their individual needs. Inclusion also means approaching behavior with curiosity instead of assumptions—asking what a youth or teen might need in this moment to feel successful.
These proactive behaviors supports, and others detailed in the Behavior Support Toolkit, lend towards more regulated and supportive environments for all youth and teens.
Responding to Challenging or Concerning Behavior
Even with strong proactive supports in place, challenging or concerning behaviors will still occur. Youth and teens are navigating emotions, relationships and stressors that don’t pause at the Club door. What matters most in these moments is how we respond.
The Behavior Support Toolkit reminds us that effective responses prioritize safety, regulation and connection before moving toward reflection and learning. One helpful framework for guiding these responses is Dr. Bruce Perry’s Three R’s:
Regulate
Support the youth in calming their body and emotions. This might include offering space, co-regulating with a calm adult, using regulation tools or moving to a less stimulating environment.
Relate
Rebuild connection by listening, validating feelings and showing empathy. This helps youth feel understood rather than controlled and reinforces that relationships remain intact—even in hard moments.
Reason
Once the youth is calm, reflect together on what happened. Explore what the behavior was communicating and identify next steps or alternative choices for the future.
If and when consequences are needed, they should be logical and reasonable. Consequences should never be shaming. The goal is not punishment, but skill-building—helping youth learn strategies that support more successful responses next time.
Finally, after tense or stressful situations, it’s essential to reinforce the relationship. Youth and teens need reassurance that their place in the Club—and their relationship with caring adults—remains secure. Intentional repair, such as checking back in, recognizing effort or sharing a positive interaction, reinforces trust and belonging. These moments send a powerful message: Even when things are hard, you are still seen, supported and welcome here.
Developing Behavior Support at My Organization
Supporting youth behavior isn’t the responsibility of any single staff member—it’s an organizational commitment. Strong behavior support systems are built through clear policies, shared expectations, and intentional training that ensure consistency across sites, roles and experiences.
The updated Behavior Support Toolkit is designed to support this work at every level. In addition to building shared understanding around when and why behaviors happen, it offers guidance for developing and strengthening behavior support policies, tools that help align staff responses and resources to support intentional implementation over time.
When behavior support is embedded into policies, training and everyday practice, organizations create safer, more consistent environments for youth—and clearer, more supportive conditions for staff to do their best work. The Behavior Support Toolkit offers a starting point and a roadmap for building these systems together, in service of a stronger, more supportive Club Experience for all. Check it out on BGCA.net!
What are your best tips for proactive behavior support? How do you set and enforce shared expectations in program spaces? Comment below, on the BGCA Youth Development Facebook page, or email ClubXBlog@bgca.org.
About Casey Morris Wadsack
Casey is Director of Trauma-Informed Practice at BGCA, and previously worked at the Boys & Girls Clubs of Cincinnati. When she’s not supporting Clubs on their trauma-informed journey, Casey loves making a quality cup of coffee, exploring the great outdoors, and traveling the world with her spouse.
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